Married?

Over the weekend at a fabulous party, I found myself perplexed when I was asked the question, "So, are you married?" I stood there checking in with myself to find a way to answer this simple question, that in that moment felt so complicated. "Yes. .....Yes. I am." nodding my head slowly, as I reaffirmed that I am indeed married in my heart. The person asking the question came in close, held my hands and with kind eyes asked what I meant. "I am a widow, he passed in January." The response was shock and a hug.

Not a day, or hardly moments that go by that I am not thinking of him.

Yesterday I found myself chasing Kanyon around on one of his riding toys, I was riding one and he another. I rode into the bedroom and turned around to go out. In passing, I stopped at the armoire that holds all of Darol's clothes. Pulled out a drawer and smelled the roses. Kanyon joined me in smelling his daddy, he pulled out a few undies and put them back. Kanyon went off and I stood there with the doors open and held his clothes. I full on hugged them and sank into them as I cried, allowing them to hold me back. I felt Darol standing there and felt him among his clothes.

Kanyon came in and pulled me into his world with a hug and a tug, " Sorry Mom....Come Mom. Come.""