Living Life In Love- two months since my love transitioned.

Life is still lovely and exciting for me. It has been a busy wave of a time for me and Kanyon. I went into major action creating and preparing the launch of my new website springphotography.com, creating new business cards, and preparing to be the main photographer and vendor/exhibitor at the Ignite Your Spark event by Illuminated Woman illuminatedwoman.com . All this while being a great mom having a bit of fun, and doing some house lovin' from time to time. I did have support from my fabulous friends and family that showed up in times of need to tend Kanyon, come clean my house, assist me in filing backed up paper piles, assist me in my taxes and preparing them, rescuing my clogged drain and leaky faucets, gift healing sessions, assist me in my booth set up and tear down, computer support, web assistance, business card printing, picking up lens rentals, packing and loading the truck for the event (which entailed packing carefully 13 large canvas prints), unpacking and rehanging said canvas prints, ordering me pizza and coming over when I was in total exhaustion and felt like I couldn't do it alone and doing the remaining dishes in my sink, and in many other wonder ways. I am filled with gratitude for the people who love and support me, seen and unseen, near and far. I am filled with gratitude for those who I don't even know and yet they support me by providing me water, electricity, food to eat year round, and  the one who created fun shoes for me buy.

I am in gratitued for the transformative experience of the Ignite Your Spark event and to Angela Johnson who held the vision and space for it to happen. I have had many break throughs with this event. I went in one woman and came out a whole new more inspired, empowered, and fabulous, loving myself woman. It was so fantastic seeing Angela's vision come true and mine as well. I was right there with her envisioning Lisa Nichols at this event.  It was such a blast! I even got to dance when the African drummers and dancers came to perform.
After all was said and done I found myself totally exhausted and sat down in the back of the room to stretch and relax my sore back that had been carrying two heavy cameras for two very long days. My friend Angela G. (different Angela) came and offered a massage to my shoulders. I graciously accepted. I found myself moved to tears and then found another friend in front of me offering a hug. I gave into the release with her presence and let go with a flow of tears. I felt myself then surrounded by women in a cocoon of sisterly love. I allowed myself to release in this safe sacred space to land. It was wonderful to be embrace by these woman and know that this too was ok, that I have a community to support me and embrace me, hold me, and support me when I am vulnerable.  Thank you ladies for showing up for me!

 

Me cocooned by my Sister Tribe. Image by Lauri Cox. What she has posted on facebook about this image and moment:

"I got to witness one of the most beautiful moments last night after Ignte your Spark was over. Two intense days that many are forever changed by. I got to witness many women who got to own there life, revealed their 1st steps to their new amazing journey, many breakthroughs, many tears, much kinship and uniting, amazing empowerment.
This moment pictured, for me, depicts the true meaning of unbreakable sisterhood. One women's tribe showing up for her in her moments of vulnerability and complete authenticity. The woman in me honors the women in you. This brings me such JOY." -Lauri Cox

I am so on fire since this event that I have chosen into starting another business that I am thrilled to share with everyone. This has been getting me up early and keeping me up late. My creativity is on fire! I am also creating a magic space in the room that we planned on using for Darol's healing room.  Opportunities abound.

I am also grateful to a friend Trish Withus of There Is Only Love thereisonlylove.com for the session she gifted me last night in where I was able to receive messages from Darol and have some of my questions answered. It was a delightful experience.

Darol and me in Santa Barbara 2004.
Yesterday was the two month anniversary marking Darol's transition. All in all, a good day, although I miss him greatly in the flesh, to hold, to kiss, to see him, and look into his beautiful ocean eyes, to have his hug and have him crack my back calling me his rice crispy treat,  and watching him love Kanyon and throw him in the air. God how I miss him!

I still feel him today only in a much different way. In fact the morning after the marathon event Ignite Your Spark, at home standing at the stove chopping some cucumber, Kanyon playing with magnets on the fridge, Kanyon says in a slightly surprised elevated tone, "Dad!" I look over at him and I felt Darol move from Kanyon over to me and place his hand on mine, he wrapped his arms around me and held me from behind, just like he would do in the flesh. I know when he is around because I feel it in my body. I feel tingles in my left side from my head to my toes. It felt so good to be in his arms again, I sunk into is embrace and cried. It felt so wonderful and real, just as if he was alive and home again. He communicated to me without words in his embrace how he saw me and that he wanted me to know he was and is with me and Kanyon and that he loves us!